It doesn't go away!

At the beginning of the summer I had made the following goals:
1. Go to Duluth, Minnesota
2. Go to Provo, Utah
3. Don't make any other plans
4. DON'T THINK ABOUT SCHOOL

I feel safe in saying that I've done a good job at the first 3. Minnesota was great, Provo is always fun, and I've done a lot of spur-of-the-moment activities that have required no planning.
Unfortunately, I have not been able to leave school in Las Vegas. It has crept into my mind when I'm the most vulnerable...sleeping. I have been having anxiety dreams all summer long.

Back in June I had a dream that I showed up at a ward party. There were kids running all over the place as primary children typically do. I found myself getting really annoyed and started yelling at them. I remember thinking to myself that I have no authority over these kids, and they probably aren't used to getting yelled at like that, but I just didn't know how else to deal with them.

A couple of weeks ago I had a dream where I had forgotten that school was starting that day. As soon as I ran out of the house to go I couldn't find my car, then couldn't find the school. I then found out that they moved the school. When I finally got to my classroom I couldn't find my students or their desks.

Last week I was camping with my family. One night I had a dream that Teach For America called me in the middle of the night and told me that I needed to run down to UNLV for a quick meeting. So, somehow I managed to drive from Provo Canyon to Las Vegas in a few minutes. The meeting only lasted about 5 minutes. When I returned to my car, all I found was the steel frame and one headlight hanging from it. I spent the rest of the night calling the cops to report that my car had been stripped for parts. I ran around stressed trying to take care of this problem. Then, someone asked me if there was anything valuable in the car. I did a mental check of the things I had in it. The cds could be replaced. I wasn't too bothered about the cd player. Then I realized that all of the school supplies that I had stored in the trunk were gone. At that moment I started bawling uncontrollably. I don't care about the car, but how dare they take my pencils, paper, and notebooks!

So, I guess as much as I wanted a summer vacation, my subconscious is still running on the stress of school. Maybe the anxiety dreams will stop once the real-life anxiety begins again.